by Setareh Moafi, PhD, L.Ac.
Having a balanced Earth element is essential to feel calm, secure, grounded and nourished.
When you feel more peace within, it becomes easier to make your needs, and therefore your boundaries, more clear.
Strong boundaries and a healthier relationship with yourself allows you to cultivate healthier relationships with others.
The ability to have clear boundaries is the domain of your Earth energy, which is made up of your Spleen and Stomach — the primary organs of digestion according to Chinese medicine.
The Spleen is of special importance because it’s the boundary keeper in your physical body — when the Spleen Qi is strong, your body is able to prevent leakage of Qi, blood and fluids. Weak Spleen Qi can cause excessive sweating, hemorrhaging, bruising, and even the inability to manage your energy and finances.
Weak Spleen Qi can also impede your ability to focus, and cause you to overthink and worry.
This is because the Spleen in Chinese medicine governs what’s known as the Yi, the aspect of your mind that supports mental clarity.
So anytime your body or mind has a leakage of energy, including prolapse of the organs, the Spleen needs to be strengthened.
In the same way, boundaries in your relationships arise out of your ability to properly manage your time and energy.
Anytime you say ‘no’ to something that doesn’t support you, you’re saying ‘yes’ to something that does.
Balanced Earth energy supports you to feel calm, centered and grounded. This is why you might feel like reaching out to your Earth friend or family member when things are difficult in order to feel a sense of stability.
In my life, this person is my mom, who’s the epitome of Earth energy—warm, welcoming, her home fragrant with Persian cuisine, always with an open heart and stable love to give.
Earth is about nourishment; it begins with the nourishment that you receive from suckling on your mother’s breast at birth and continues into adulthood as you learn to nourish yourself through proper self-care.
The following are three self-care tips to support your Earth energy so you can naturally create healthier boundaries.
Tip #1: Cook
Stoking your digestive fire, known as the Stomach Fire in Chinese medicine, through cooking helps fortify your Earth organ systems of digestion, the Spleen and Stomach.
If you have a resistance to cooking or think that you’re not good at it, simply begin by boiling some water, cooking some oatmeal or making a couple of hard-boiled eggs.
The simple act of standing in front of your stove or cooktop to prepare a meal helps to balance your digestive system.
Tip #2: Journal
Putting pen to paper helps organize your thoughts and calm your mind.
Remember that the Spleen is related to the Yi, the aspect of your mind that provides mental clarity and focus. Too much thinking and worrying wears down the Spleen Qi and can disrupt your digestion, sleep and deprive you of feeling calm.
Left alone, the mind is like a monkey wanting to jump from branch to branch. One of the best ways to calm the monkey mind is to write down your thoughts.
The best time to journal is first thing in the morning so that you can set a rhythm for your day. Writing later in the day will shift the focus more on the events and information that you’ve gathered throughout the day rather than what’s truly happening for you internally.
Tip #3: Manage Your Money
One of the easiest and best ways to know how you’re using your energy is to look at how you’re spending your money, which is itself a form of energy.
You can evaluate using an exercise called Counting. For one week, track every single dime that you spend and write down what you’re spending it on in a notebook or or in your cell phone.
Simply looking at the way that you’re spending your money can help you see how you’re using your energy and evaluate whether you need to consolidate it more.
Whether it’s with your work, colleagues, friends or family members, it’s essential to notice who or what is not supportive or nourishing in your life and see what you can do to change that. Remember that it all starts with self-care.
Now I would love to hear from you – which of these three tips will you implement first? And where in your life are you having trouble setting boundaries? Have you tried any other tips that have helped you establish healthy boundaries? I’d love to hear about those in the comments.
Setareh Moafi, Ph.D., L.Ac. is Co-Owner and Director of A Center for Natural Healing in Santa Clara, California, a health and wellness clinic that specializes in Classical Chinese Medicine and Traditional Japanese Acupuncture. Dr. Moafi offers a one-of-a-kind form of empowerment coaching, clinical services, and transformational workshops and online courses that blend the ancient practices of Classical Chinese Medicine and Yoga. More information at www.setarehmoafi.com.
